I've changed a lot over the last couple of years. Some changes are good, such as the fact that I know who I want to be and what I want to accomplish in life. While other changes are bad, such as I've had to learn to deal with death and other daily dramas, dramas I would rather not face. I look back to when I was in year 7 and it seems such a blur, I never understood the people around me, nor myself, and I cared too much about what others thought of me. I remember always trying to be in the "popular" crowd, trying to be friends with people who seemed like the most awesome people, trying to be exactly like them. In year 8 I started to realize that they really weren't that "cool". Sure, I persisted in trying to be in the "in" crowd, but eventually I had a realization. I realized that I pity them. I pity the fact that they don't have aspirations for the future, they focus too much on bitching about their friends and family. They don't get how the world works 'cause they're so focused on their dramas. And I feel sorry for them, because one day they are going to wake up and think, "what happened?" So in about year 9 I found friends who changed all that for me, they weren't in my year group so they didn't straight away ditch me because I'm not the coolest person out there, and they didn't seem to care anyway. Since then I've made a lot of new friends, who make me genuinely happy and when I look at those people I tried to be friends with, I wonder how I ever wanted to be friends with them. How could I want to put up with their false smiles and constant bitching? Bitching about stupid in-group fights and name calling. In year 8 I would have been really offended if someone called me a nerd, but now I honestly couldn't care less. Reading and writing and doing well in school could help me get a job I enjoy one day, so who cares about a few names? Plus, I'm kind of used to it. I had braces so I've had them all.. "brace face, train tracks, ugly Betty etc.). The funny part is that now all those people that teased me have braces. So naturally, when I pass them down the hall I casually, "*cough*brace face*cough*" at them. It generally puts me in a good mood for the day. Karmas a bitch. It's a sticks & stones thing, names are just names and if your not willing to eat it don't dish it (I don't even think that makes sense - it sounded a lot better in my head).
I'm also quite sure that a lot of those "popular" people are dropping out of school in the next couple of years, why? Because they didn't try in school. One day when I'm making lots of money doing something I enjoy, they might be doing something they don't, regretting the fact they gossiped and bitched instead of actually trying for 4 years. Sucks to be them.
I guess I'm kinda happy about being a nerd because now I have the opportunity to do almost anything I want, and all because I wasn't focused on being someone I'm not (: Sticks&Stone
Happy new year, (13 days late)
xo
