Commiserating Death.

Death is a part of life.

A very unfair, unavoidable part.
We can choose to accept it, or we can choose to fear it.

This year, as most of you know, I lost 3 family members.
The experienced changed me, in both good and bad ways.. Now I try to appreciate my loved ones more, I try to appreciate what I have and enjoy my life while it lasts. But I also started questioning everything. How could this happen to me? Why do bad things happen to good people? My Grandad was a catholic, as was my uncle. They went to church on Sundays.. and were nice people in general, yet they still died too early.. died in pain.. My Grandad won't get to teach me to drive as he would have loved to do.. I won't get to talk to my uncle and reply to his letters.. So why did it happen? How could God take them from me?

As I said, Death is a part of life, a very unfair, unavoidable part. How can I accept something I fear so much.

When I was at my Granny's house yesterday. I listened at my parents were told that my Grandad's close friend had just been diagnosed with cancer as well.. He was given 6-9 or something weeks. I commiserated with the emotions he and his family may be feeling. The same feelings I had about my Grandad. Maybe more, considering the effects of what had happened didn't really hit me until my Grandad had died.

I suppose these moments are when we need to really "smile with the sad" and keep believing that "everything happens for a reason".

One day everything will work out, I'm hoping.

Well I didn't want this blog to be such a downer.. but.. hmm..

I just went for a walk.. ugh, I hate exercise. I bought this black dress the other day, so I figured that I better do some exercise if I want to still fit in it, haha.

I also put up the Christmas tree last night.. I was feeling the Christmas cheer and thought, hey, lets put up some decorations. So, I got everything ready (by myself.. my family isn't very Christmasy.. they just want to skip the holiday altogether - creeps) and I put the decorations up.. and the presents under the tree, so I'm all ready to celebrate. To make best with what I have and enjoy it while it lasts (:

Christmas is next week. I'm more exited than I thought I'd be, I don't know why.

My cousin is coming up next week, I'm so exited to see her. It's strange how close we've become in the last few years. Ever since she stopped coming up every holidays, I've realized how important her visits were to me. My best memories all involve her.. sand dunes.. beach.. the best days... but then Grandad got sick.. and it had to stop. Shit happens.

I'm going to go and watch the Christmas/midday movie. They have happy endings and they give me hope, plus most are romances and I'm a sucker for a good love story (:

Have a nice day,
& enjoy what you have while it lasts; everything happens for a reason.

xo